Becoming a manager — 9 lessons learned
When I came back from my maternity leave, overwhelmed after living the most intense and life changing 6 months of my life, I was given a small team and I became a manager. I was totally unprepared for what it would require of me, but I had wanted this role for years. For me, it was a symbol of accomplishment and success to become middle management. I went back to work with high expectations and a mix bag of self-assurance and self-doubt. Becoming a manager proved to be long process with a steep learning curve. Coming from a project management background, I believed I had the tools at hand to be successful, but I was naively wrong on all levels. People and project management are world apart and as proof of it, my 2 initial employees ended up leaving within 18 months of my new endeavor.
It took me over 3 years to learn to become a better manager. It took time to find out how to be authentic and that I didn’t have to follow a standardized model that did not suit me. My style is very different from most, but it works. I have learned how to do things my way and I have learned that my employees actually appreciate my way of being a manager. I started by being a very distant, self-controlled manager and failed miserably. Today, I am a very personal and friendly manager. I no longer dress the part and traded my suits for sneakers and t-shirts (even if I am in a very corporate environment). I talk about my personal life, my wife, my kids, my hobbies and my interests with my employees and I listen to them. I have created a team with a high sense of belonging and team spirit. I have coached my employees to help them grow and watching them surpass themselves has been the most rewarding journey of my professional life. Here are the 9 lessons I have learned while transitioning from being a new and unsuccessful manager to a manager that is respected and successful:
1. Don’t change who you are. No one wants a fake manager who pretends to be someone they are not. Trust can’t be established if you don’t give a bit of yourself. Your employees need to see the human in you and understand where you are coming from.
2. You are not only working with milestones and tasks, but with people. Being a manager is meeting deadlines, goals and ensuring the team performs. But none of these things can take place if you only focus on the tasks and not on the people. Everyone has feelings, personalities, goals and drive.
3. All people are driven by something. Finding what drives them is key to success. Everyone is motivated by something. Some people want to help, some want to shine, some want stability and some others might want to climb. Not everyone will want a promotion or more responsibilities and not all will be satisfied by executing repeated tasks. Take time to learn and understand what drives your employees so you can get the best of out them.
4. Listen, listen and listen more. Listening as a manager is highly under-rated. Most managers talk and talk and talk some more. Employees that don’t feel understood or listened can feel invisible and not important. Listening is key to ensure you employees can strive and grow. Additionally, if you listen close enough, you might discover that some of them, especially the quiet ones, have great ideas.
5. Ask for feedback. As a manager, your job is to give feedback. That being said, feedback should be a two-way street. Through this feedback exchange, trust can be developed and it can grow. Therefore, all managers should ask for feedback. Most employees will be uncomfortable at first, but show them the way and provide them with high quality feedback. Overtime they will learn to feel comfortable and offer feedback. From this you can grow and become a better manager yourself.
6. Create a sense of belonging. Not so long ago I read the following quote:
“Diversity is like being invited to a party, inclusion is being asked to dance, and belonging is dancing like no one’s watching.”
Over the years, I have learned that creating a sense of belonging with your employees is key. When hard times come, employees who have developed a sense of belonging to the team will be more prepared to face adversity. They will stand strong together and double down if needed. Creating a sense of belonging also has other great benefits. It improves retention rates, it makes people daring to share ideas and it helps create an environment where innovation can grow.
7. Trust your employees from day 1. Although difficult for some, I strongly recommend trusting your employees from the first day. Taking such a leap of faith has shown, at least in my experience, to have a great ripple effect. By trusting someone from the first day, you establish, from the get go, the tone of the relationship to be created. You lay your cards and create a collaboration right away. Some might fear that the employee will take advantage, but if that is the case, you will notice shortly. I recommend in any case to start the relationship with trust. Any manager who asks employees to prove they can be trusted establishes a relationship that starts in deficit and set a negative outset from the get go.
8. Help them grow. In my book, a manager’s job is to help her/his employee grow and unleash their potential. A good manager should identify his or her successor and groom this person so that they are ready for the role. By doing so, you can increase the team’s capabilities, performance and in turn, this will make you a better manager.
9. Have fun. We spend most a large portion of our daily hours working. Have fun! Life is too short to spend +8h per day unhappy. Having fun is important for everyone and managers should lead by example.
Visit my website: https://www.laurencepaquette.com/
